if i had fingers,
that were delicate at touch,
i would run the tip along,
the sharpness of a knife,
dragging skin on blade,
watch it bleed helplessly,
then i will use the crimson,
to paint roses of red,
as a reminder,
that life and death,
are intertwined,
that sometimes it takes wanting to die,
to feel most alive.
- 7th May, 18.32 -
if i had hands of a builder,
i would build a fortress,
for my sister,
because i never want her,
to see the glint in my eyes,
the happiness in my smile,
as i burned the world,
into nothing
but
ash.
- 7th May, 18.34 -
maybe if i had stayed longer,
let my heart linger awhile,
or looked into your eyes,
for just a moment more,
we would still be as we once were,
you would still be beside me,
and i would still roam without you,
alas,
that girl was not brave enough,
and i am that girl,
no longer.
- 7th May, 18.36 -
i apologise in advance,
if i break your heart,
for i had no intention,
of doing so,
but sometimes people trip on their own two feet,
and i am sometimes messy,
but always clumsy,
so forgive me,
my love,
if my butter fingers,
accidentally shatter your heart,
forgive me,
for i never meant to be this way.
- 7th May, 18.39 -
maybe i am only good at languages,
because i desire to know pain,
in every culture,
to decipher intonations within each word,
to decript meaning behind every sentence,
maybe i only enjoy listening,
because i like knowing emotion,
the rage in veins,
the hurt in broken hearts,
maybe i only like these things,
because i do not feel,
because i am incapable of feeling.
maybe i want to feel.
- 7th May, 18.46 -
if i understood agony,
i would reign hell,
on earth,
i would let blood hounds,
scour the streets,
let them run wild,
leaving nothing else,
but the smell of copper,
and of blood,
if i understood agony,
i would thrive in power,
but i do not understand,
therefore i stay within the walls of my room,
reigning hell on no one else,
but myself.
- 7th May, 18.49 -
i guess my biggest flaw,
is knowing all my flaws,
is keeping a long list of them,
stashing them between the cracks of my heart,
plastering up empty voids,
and if every word on the list is true,
then,
i guess my biggest flaw,
is me,
entirely.
- 7th May, 18.58 -
there is a minor flaw.
in this system that we live in,
i have been told,
over and over,
that it gets better,
that when i wake up,
the skies will be clearer,
brighter,
but time and time again,
i am left high and dry,
digging my own grave,
falling into it myself,
snatching for jewels and crowns,
that my soul cannot afford.
- 7th May, 19.03 -
but i guess there was no,
promises,
happy endings,
rainbows and sunshines,
perhaps,
there is only night skies,
and thunder storms,
perhaps,
instead of colour,
we can have the spectrum of chromaticity,
converge into one,
perhaps,
instead of fading away,
we can become one,
a burst of light,
a strip of silver lining.
- 7th May, 19.11 -
